Men don't cry

Men don't cry, the only tears that should come out of your eyes that are acceptable is during the birth of you child , maybe when you buy your first car as well that is any more
tears make you less of a man or do they. Lets have a look at the elephant in the room male abuse, yes male abuse it's not really something you hear or read about daily
on the news nor will you see it trending on social sites but it does happen so this is me doing a bit of research on the topic and lets see if I can shed some light on the
issue . Something to also note before we begin I asked my male colleague if it happened to him would he report it  ",no I would rather die than tell anyone about it" it's a very strong statement to make thou hey. But he insist he would never tell a soul if it happened to him.

Top 10 myths of male sexual abuse and rape

• Boys and men can’t fall victim to sexual abuse.
• Males who are sexually abused will go on to become abusers themselves.
• All perpetrators of sexual abuse are male.
• Males sexually abused by males are, or will become bisexual or gay.
• If you get an erection and/or ejaculate during the sexual abuse, you must have enjoyed it.
• Only adult men in prison are sexually abused.
• Only men who are gay or bisexual can be sexually assaulted.
• If you never said no to the abuse, then it must be your fault
• Men should be capable of protecting themselves against sexual abuse
• If you didn't clearly remember the sexual abuse, it didn't really happen.

"South Africa is often described as the rape capital of the world, but what often goes unmentioned is the high incidence of male rape in this country. Male rape is extremely
rife in South African prisons. It often goes undetected as victims lives are threatened by fellow inmates. This unfortunately highlights the grim lack of determination
and will by the South African government to stamp out male-on-male rape. About one in 30 men (3.5%) in South Africa have been raped by a man, according to a study by
the Medical Research Council. The study shows that almost 10% of South African men have experienced sexual violence by another man."

Let me write you a bed time story like you have never read before "Imagine this. It’s a Thursday night at the home of the Sono's family. Well, let’s call them that. They've been
together for seven years and they seem to have the picture perfect marriage. Except it’s not perfect. As usual, one partner is at home with the kids while the other is out drinking.
At about midnight the kitchen door is flung open. That’s when the series of violence begins once more . A mixture of full-throated insults ­accompanied by flying fists. Sounds
familiar? Maybe not. In this case the abuser is a woman and the man is the one with the split lip. The scenario sounds shocking, especially in a country like South Africa
where experts say that one in every five women is raped or abused by their male partners and that a rape is committed every 17 seconds." The End.

I have come across loads of stats for woman abuse and only about 5% for men which indicates it's not talked about and men don't really report these cases. To be honest as a man
would you go to a police station and report that your wife or girlfriend is abusing you. The stigma and shame surrounding this issue is just incredible, so due to lack of
stats i took it upon myself to ask a few guys and get a few quotes as far as them having enough guts and glory to reporting their loved once to the police for violence
against them if they were ever in such a situation like that.

"We men get abused we are afraid that if other ppl knw that we are abused they would say I'm not men enough to stand my ground as a men, in the other hand we are afraid
of losing the ones we love and stay in the relationship just because she does certain things for me u know"
"No.... Manhood pride "
"NO, wouldn't report such incidents. Simply because in my culture and as an individual we believe a man should bein control of his woman/gf and its quiet embarrassing aswell"
"I really have no idea wat I would do in a situation like dat. I'll probably be 2 embarrassed 2 report her"
"I wouldn't, the reason as simple as it is difficult to can find anyone ho would believe me or pay attention."
This one is my personal favourite " Verbally, I would because the next time I lay hands on her, they would know that I had brought this up once, sexually? Nah, A man is
known to take control of a sexual relationship, it would be quite embarrassing to go and portray yourself as the weak link in that department of your life. Physically?
Eish nope, would just hit the gym and prepare for my revenge"
"No..it shud stay indoors it's a private thng hahaha"
"No I wouldn't. It's quite embarrassing to report such because people will take me as a coward, well above all it's all about pride us guys don't want to see
girls being the bigger person"

Out of the 100 man I asked 99/100 said they would not report it at all. That's a staggering figure , it is not that they are afraid but the embarrassment of it all is just way too much , our pride cant survive it. I want you for a moment to imagine giving testimony in court in front of your family and friends about your incidence .

Here are some unique reactions following a sexual assault that a man can experience

1. Tend to show more aggression and hostility than fear and tearfulness
2. Very likely to begin questioning their sexual identity or orientation
3. Downplaying the severity of the experience, making it seem as if the sexual abuse had no importance or traumatic value
4. Acting out or expressing emotion through sexual nuances or hints

Personally I can just imagine myself talking to my father about it , its not gonna go down well, his gonna ask me : if I am a man ? and that will be the end of that  conversation. Its sad hey, man don't cry, your suppose to suck it up, be a man they say. The above are just some quotes I got as feedback although I am sure its deeper than that, way deep .
Abused men feel insecure, scared, and alone. As this is not something that is common in society. They feel who would believe them anyway, so what is the
point of even making it public . The reality is that there are abused man out there, but this is just being swept under the mat.