Money makes the world go round in a square world

So a bit of background
when I still stayed at home
creditors used to come by asking for their cash
and my naughty uncle would always make me lie and say he's not around
I used to hate doing it
I remember this one time someone called and he told me to say he wasn't in the house
I laughed so hard coz i'm sitting right next to him, I mean like really hehehe
Long story short from those experiences I hated creditors with a passion
So years later I started working and for a good part of my life I was credit free
Didn't have a debit or an account under my name
This one time I wanted to buy a phone on contract though I could afford it
They couldn't give it to me cos I didn't have a credit history
"A credit history "they said
So there I was on the phone with a consultant who can't give me what I can afford because I don't have " credit history "
This makes no sense at all
So I opened some accounts and they gave me plenty credit
So much that I started getting into debt that I could no longer afford
There I was with so much credit on my name that I didn't even know what to do with it
Every time I had to pay up these accounts felt like a piece of me was dying with every payment I made
Then I decided to pay them all up
Best decision ever but guess what ????
Now that I have payed up all my accounts and no longer have credit on my name
My credit history is in danger , apparently you need to stay active so u can get more credit at a later stage in your life
So if I want to buy a house or something bigger I need this credit
I feel like i'm a joke
The system is a joke , it's designed to keep me in debt inasmuch as I want to get out of it
So here I am buying socks every month end just to keep my account active
So I can have a good credit history
This is messed up I tell you

Motivation to keep going

When you know within yourself that there's something you need to do and I believe everyone of us are born with a purpose
That all of us have something we all suppose to do
And that all of us have some goodness in us
And that goodness gives us the responsibility
to manifest our greatness
Not only is it possible for you to have your dream
It is necessary
It's necessary that you have it
That you work on it
That you develop yourself
That you go for what is yours in the universe
Everyday when you wake up
You better be spending time on your dreams

You don't have time to waste
It is a sense of agency
It's a character of who you are
It's not the tittle that makes you , its not the success that makes you
The character defines the success defines the fame
and it starts right there
The 1 in thousand of hours in the training room
In the labs and the 5am runs
When it's raining and when everyone is sleeping
That's when it's WON!!
The heart of a champion is a light switch
Thats always on , it doesnt go and off when someone is watching its constant
It's how you look at something if your name is attached to it
and you do it right , the best of your ability
Every single time

That if you want something bad enough go out and fight for it
To work day and night for it
To give up your time your peace and your sleep for it
If all that you dream and scheme is about it
And life seems useless and worthless without it
And if you would gladly sweat for it and fight for it
And lose all your terror of the opposition and fight for it
And if you simply go after this thing that you want
With all your Capacity , Strength and Sagacity
Faith Hope and Confidence
and Stern for Tenacity
If neither cold , poverty, sickness or body and brain can keep you away from it
From the thing that you want

And now that's that thing called life
Is that it is always changing
Sometimes you're up sometimes you're down
I can tell you that now be aware of that
Things are not gonna work out exactly right
For a time they will
Sometimes , and that is when life is just playing a game with you
I don't wanna play anymore
I don't care how good you are
I don't care how talented you are
I don't care how much you work on yourself
There are times when things aren't gonna go right
They are just not gonna go right
There are times when anything that can happen will happen
But during those down moments
That's where the growth takes place
That is where the work is
You see anybody can feel good when they have their health
Their bills are paid , they have happy relationships
Anybody could be positive then
Anybody can have a larger vision then
Anybody can have faith under those circumstances
You see but the real challenge
The real challenge of growth
Mentally , Emotionally , Spiritually comes when you get knocked down

A lesson in love

At times without even realising it you find yourself in the same mess you thought you got rid of some time back

Ever woke up in a bed next to someone whom swore you will never have relations with again 

I mean you didn't mean too and it's not like you just tripped and fell in bed with them 

it just happened 

I know this makes no sense at all 

There's no logic to putting yourself in a place to get burned again but you still do it 

You know the results 

You know exactly how its gonna end 

But you still go in 

Hoping for the best in a the worse kinda situation 

Funny thing is when you wake up and it's time to leave that you realise what you just did 

and the other person looks at you with those eyes and you both know what happened wasn't suppose to happen 

But here we are , again 

Me and you in each others arms 

This feels so comfortable and familiar but we both know what is about to happen in the next few minutes 

We both gonna wake up , i'm gonna get dressed and we are not gonna talk again for a couple of months 

You're gonna hate me im gonna hate you , we gonna hate ourselves 

and some time months later 

you just couldn't help but say "Hi" to me 

and I made the biggest mistake by responding

Here we are again 

Months later in each others arms , again 

It's been said insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results 

But this is not mathematics our hearts don't calculate with the same equation 

When a heart breaks it doesn't break even 

When all hope is gone in each other but yet still months down the road 

It's gonna start all over with a " Hi "