Sorry seems to be the hardest word .

One of the hardest things to say is i'm sorry
Admitting you are wrong goes far beyond words and concepts
The words I am sorry can prevent alot of pain and the absence of such a word can create so much pain
We have given it a lot of authority
We have given it too much power
But sometimes when you have messed up a good thing or did something that you knew at the back of your mind was wrong and you still did it anyways
That's us human beings we can be very selfish sometimes
In saying sorry you heal not only yourself but the person you have wronged
I want to say i'm sorry for the decision I made but don't get me wrong, how do I put this without sounding like a complete dog
Im sorry for the decision I made got you feeling the way you feel about me and us
i'm sorry I hurt you
i'm sorry I gave up on you but it was a decision I made for myself
and I am prepared to leave with that decision , I just want you to be free from it
wasn't so hard was it , sorry
I'm not sorry I made the decision , I 'm sorry about the consequences my decision has had in our lives
I thought I was doing the best I could
So Vukosi Tshuketana I forgive you for all the chances you didn't take
For all the times you got there too late
For all the times you couldn't swallow your pride and ask for help
For all the bad and all the decisions you made
For all the good ones you let pass you by
For all the times you went next door because you thought the grass was greener
And for all the little and big things you should have done and never got around to doing them
I forgive you .

In the end....

Save your tears and applause
Save your compliments and criticism
Save your hello and goodbye
Save you hot and cold

It seems as if for all actions there are appropriate reactions
For all the ups there and downs
Seems like good can't exist without evil
For all the positives there are negatives

Words , its amazing how they affect us
If I told you how beautiful and smart your look , you just up like a yoyo with excitement
And if I told you how unattractive and stupid you look , you get angry and reserved
Human beings are like toys , you can put them up or put them down just by saying a few things and they react

Most of us just exist for deaths sake
We just are
We do not lack nor do we want anything more out of life
We are just contemp with just being
Following the trends and traditions that have been put alongside us
Doing things the way they have always been done
Most of us don't want to reinvent the wheel
We don't wanna be the creators, we just want to consume what is there and when it is finished we cry for more
What is this more that we want , we don't really know

First few years of our lives we do everything we possibly can do to avoid hunger and loneliness
We raise children
We seat back and wait for death to come our way
We reminisce on old times and memories shared
All the love ones that came our way and left
All the events and dates that we can never forget

In the end the only thing we all have in common regardless of our culture , religion , age , gender , nationality, qualifications , the only true thing we all truly have in common is death itself

"At the understanding that life is not going to take you back. You are the world you have created. And when you cease to exist, this world that you have created will also cease to exist. But for those with the understanding that they're living the last days of the world, death acquires a different meaning. The extinction of all reality is a concept no resignation can encompass. And then, all the grand designs and all the grand plans will be finally exposed and revealed for what they are."

Almost done ......

In that space between doing the norm and doing what you want
I'm tired of following "normal" let me try this being unique thing and see for myself as to what it can do for me
You know when you have those random moments when your mind is busy wondering around and when you wanna write down those thoughts its as if they just disappear
Whenever I start writing that's when I become blank
You know how we always say next year i'm gonna do this , i'm gonna do that
I'm not having any of those this year , no no mam
I'm gonna do me , I should probably write down some goals
My biggest goal was to reach a quarter of a century without becoming a dad
I know its an odd goal to have right , well that's what I always wanted years later now my biggest fear is having kids late in life
You know that place you think you will know when you get there at a certain time
When you start making the kind of money you wanna make and what not
I believe that place is a myth
unless if you have written down goals and a plan on reaching that particular destination everything else is visage
Most of us don't know what we want until we lose it and the lucky few get to have it back and get to keep it whilst the rest of us only realize at a later stage just what we had and its too late the fat lady has not only sang but she packed up and is performing somewhere else
I have always been content with the little i have
I never really thought bigger and faster or more , if I had enough then it was good enough for me
I came to a point in fact I came to a realization that it's more than just me in this wonderful and dangerously pretentious world we leave in
That the decisions I make not only affect me but a lot of other people as well and i'm ok with that
I have come to the point not of selfishness but a point where I love me more , in all honest the only true person in you life who wants and loves you and will never leave your side nor can you run out of favor with is the man in the mirror . If you take good care of him he will do the same for you
in the words of a great infamous president : " It's not that we don't love you , no we love ourselves more than we love you "