If you read anything I have written and actually have a thought, then my job is done.
Tuesday, 31 March 2015
The Art Of Assumptions
It was one of those fairytale story like relationships. Boy meets girl and yeah life goes on.
Weeks went by. The odd thing on both side was that we only saw each other every second week. I never really noticed this until about 3 months into the relationship. Even the way we called each other, we only talked during office hours and we both seem to never call each other in the evenings. And yet I always received my good morning texts without failure every time. Coming to think of it, she only came to my place from 08:00am and she left exactly at 16:00pm when she came over on the weekend. I mean regardless if it was raining, hot , even if we were in the middle of drink or food, that was our window period. I obviously didn't mind because I knew I can always make plans for later because she wouldn't be around any way.
Then just that particular night where I needed to sleep she called & told me she was outside my apartment, she claimed she was passing by & thought to just visit me for a few minutes before she went to her house. It was then when I realized that I’ve never been to her place, I didn't even know how it was from mine and who she lived with. Our conversations never got that far, as I was about to ask how she got to my apartment late at night she broke down into tears. “I no longer have a place to stay” she was mumbling in the midst of her cry, when I saw them rolling down her eyes like dew on a window of an overloaded bus something said to me she needs to talk. I had to play the shrink, something I didn't expect from her since I had my own assumptions. First thing that came to my mind was coffee, it had to be the strongest I've ever made because I knew that’s how she likes it. As she was getting herself together & wiping her tears her phone rang, she just took a glance at it only once and didn't answer. I couldn't even ask why but just continue to tell her that “I'm all ears”, first things first I told her she can sleep-over if she wants & I was only worried of where she’d be going when the morning comes. When she started explaining why she came-over my mind went on a blackout & only to wake up with her sleeping in my arms on the very sofa where it all begun, I mean these no-strings attached relationship. It was the first time we ever spend the whole night together, that very morning I had to go for soccer training with my boys & I was expecting them to pick me up from my apartment. I had to wake her up & get ready for the boys but immediately when she woke she went straight to her purse to show me something, she pulled out yellow plastic bag which looked like it had a towel in it & when she pulled everything out only R200 notes fell on my floor. You know that scary exciting moment where you want to ask questions but you really can’t? I was there, I mean if she had that much money then why she said she had no place to stay that’s what I asked. “Do you trust me?” she asked, looking right into my eyes as if she could see my thoughts and honestly I didn't know what to say.
An hour later there was a knock on my door, it was one of those loud knocks that sounded like one of my drunk friends & without asking who it was I just yelled “Come in if you are not lost or selling”. To my surprised it was a gentleman I never saw in my life, clean-shaved guy so tall he didn't fit through the door without bending. He asked if I was alone & only then I realized he was a cop, he introduced himself as Investigating Officer Baloyi & he said he was looking for the Mayor’s daughter. “That lady is in trouble & we heard you kept her in your house meaning you are also in trouble”, when he softly explained the reasons of him being there. I couldn't speak because only then I was trying to figure out if he was in the right place, how would I know unless I call her to come through to the door from the sitting room. “Is this the Mayor’s daughter sir?”, I asked Mr Baloyi & that’s when she responded “yes I am” and at that very moment my thoughts ran wild. Here I thought she was a married woman or maybe engaged, but she was the daughters Mayor. I turned to the officer to ask “what did she do sir?”, “nothing” responded the officer and added by saying she’s been gone from home for over a week now. The Mayor had already opened a case of missing persons, when the officer was trying to explain to me the whole story she sprung out of the house like a mad man then the officer ran after her. As surprised as I was I realized that assumptions are all I ever had & now curiosity took over me, when I went back to the house I found that she left her phone & the money behind.
Monday, 23 March 2015
The Morning After
"Hush, don't say a word
I can't even explain what I'm feeling
Feeling, lying next to you
Ooh feels so good
Don't let the words ruin the moment
Please don't say nothing
I know you might feel guilty babe
Don't let the mind do the speaking
Just let the heart do the leading
Cause we gave each other what we both wanted
Look what we've started"
Honestly we just had one too many drinks and well, oooops.
I mean we both just met a few hours ago, started talking and dancing, got some shots and had a late dinner, the infamous burger and chips. Last I remember we were eating and walking, next thing we were back at my place. You went straight for the bed and I took the couch, wasn't really sure how to go about it at first, then I decided to join you and you made space for me and I held you in my arms. We caught our self staring at each other and as I proceeded to kiss you, you reciprocated by meeting me halfway, we laughed after we kissed. After some heavy breathing and soft gentle touches, one thing left to the next and we woke up in the morning with smiles on our faces. And yes for those that are a bit slow , we did the deed. Now as we lay in bed, sober, you without make up on, we were both in our baby suits and felt a bit funny about the whole situation.
She then asked me if I was seeing anyone?.....
I paused for a minute I had to make sure I responded tactically cause it's a very dangerous question to ask someone The Morning After. So I tried being smart and answered: Yes i'm seeing someone , i'm seeing you right now. She laughed and Said: I mean are you dating anyone? So I asked her what she wanted for breakfast? We got dressed and went out for breakfast. She was a funny young lady very smart and beautiful but yeah it is what it is. As we left the restaurant after breakfast I asked her where she was going after, and she said she was going back to the flat with me, " Shit I had to think quick on my feet, going home with me naaaah aaaaah baby girl" Told her i'm going to Johannesburg to go visit a friend, she said it's cool we can go together, " F&*^ this girl couldn't take a hint" told her it's a boys thing so she said ok cool and that I should call her when I came back "I never saw her again"
looking back at the whole thing I guess we should have spoken before we did the deed so that we were both on the same page. I often reflect on what would have happened if I called and saw her again. Honestly I don't really regret not calling. I am a douchebag right? I should have called, such is life. Moving right along.
Thursday, 19 March 2015
The Side Chick Syndrome
To start of this topic I thought it's best I embark on a journey on the interweb and find some definitions from all over the world, i'm sure you also have your own definition of a " Side Chick "
* A female that is neither a male's wife or girlfriend who has relations with the male while he is in another relationship
* A position allocated to a girl which is neither a wifey or a girlfriend but a side dish like nandos rice
* The girl a guy cheats on his girlfriend with because she's better in bed. Not always a bad thing to the girl and guy, just society
My definition: A side chick is someone with whom you have sex with occasionally because the sex is really good but you do not want to leave your current partner. I guess for most of us half a loaf of bread is better than nothing hey. It's morally pressumptious of me to assume my definition but in retrospect I still believe it to be true. Most of us boys/girls our self esteem has been beaten to the ground and stamped on for so much, for so long that we do not think we deserve better than what we currently have. I can confidently say there is absolutely nothing wrong with being single, you do not have to stoop so low just to get someones attention. This thing of sex partners and what not is not on. We need as a society to get back to the old ways, shit who am I kidding getting the milk and not having to deal with the drama is awesome I admit it.
Look I am not advocating for irrational behavior but the simple fact that you can have sex with someone without any emotional attachments and drama sounds good to me. And yet its wrong, it's almost as if we can't decide whether to do what is simple or what is right by our woman. For me the following lyrics wraps everything up nicely taken from a song by: Daughter - Youth.
Shadows settle on the place, that you left.
Our minds are troubled by the emptiness.
Destroy the middle, it's a waste of time.
From the perfect start to the finish line.
And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones.
'Cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs.
Setting fire to our insides for fun
Collecting names of the lovers that went wrong
The lovers that went wrong.
We are the reckless,
We are the wild youth
Chasing visions of our futures
One day we'll reveal the truth
That one will die before he gets there.
" Maybe we feel empty because we leave pieces of ourselves in everything we used to love " Unknown
Thursday, 5 March 2015
Say Something I'm Giving Up On You
Im scared to love you
If I know one thing about you is that you are very good at walking away so I know you can do that at any time when this gets boring again
Here I am standing in the middle of it all
Looking like a fool but I don't care my mind is made up
Its you I love but you are bad for me
Your presence in my life results in nothing but pain but still damn girl I can't get enough of you
Einstein once said : Stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results well he wasn't in love like I was .
So unlike that other time my eyes are wide open and I'm watching you
I'm watching you real close
I should probably walk away but I love you girl and it is just not enough
I deserve better if not for me then for my future
I'm worth more than just a second chance
A back up when the first choice ran off with your heart like you did mine
I hate the way you make me feel
I hate myself for how I feel about you
So here we go again
And I know very well when you say you miss me I'm not the only one
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