Alexithymia

In all forms of conversation asking someone , how they are doing is such a mundane thing that we do everyday but hardly ever think about it
The normal response would be: I'm fine thanks and how are you ?
I will then say the same by letting them know i'm doing ok!
Then it stands to good reason that we will move on to another subject .
We are so used to it that every now and then we find ourselves greeting people and expecting the same stimulus response
And this time they happen to tell you how they really feel
How stressed, lonely, heartbroken, how much the past few days had drained them, how their relationships are failing, how they struggle to make ends meet and so on
And in such cases you don't have the necessary social skills to accommodate how real and painful the situation just got
I mean what do you say in such cases
How do you respond
They didn't teach us about these type of conversations
So we find ourselves asking people around us about how we should respond
When you tell me the truth about how you really are, you mess up the rules of normal conversation and interaction

We need to find that place inside of us where we can accommodate each other and stop pretending everything is ok when we cry ourselves to sleep every night but we have so many friends and chat buddies( in our lingo followers ) .So I urge you next time someone ask you how you are for once just be real and tell them how you really feel and see them open up to you. We are all broken in one form or another, we can heal each other and find comfort in each others arms.

Conversations with death.....

Jefe: I would urge you to see the truth of the situation you're in, Counselor. That is my advice. It is not for me to tell you what you should have done or not done. The world in which you seek to undo the mistakes that you made is different from the world where the mistakes were made. You are now at the crossing. And you want to choose, but there is no choosing there. There's only accepting. The choosing was done a long time ago... Are you there Counselor?

Counselor: [distraught] Yes.

Jefe: I don't mean to offend you, but reflective men often find themselves at a place removed from the realities of life. In any case, we should all prepare a place where we can accommodate all the tragedies that sooner or later will come to our lives. But this is an economy few people care to practice.

Counselor: Will you help me?

Jefe: Machado would have traded every word, every poem, every verse he ever wrote for one more hour with his beloved. And that is because when it comes to grief, the normal rules of exchange do not apply, because grief transcends value. A man would give entire nations to lift grief off his heart. And yet, you cannot buy anything with grief, because grief is worthless.

Counselor: Why are you telling me this?

Jefe: Because you continue to deny the reality of the world you're in. Do you love your wife so much, so completely, that you would exchange places with her upon the wheel? And I don't mean dying, because dying is easy.

Counselor: Yes! Yes, damn you!

Jefe: Well, that is good to hear, Counselor.

Counselor: What are you saying? Are you saying this is a possibility?

Jefe: No. It's impossible.

Counselor: You said I was that man - at that crossing.

Jefe: Yes. At the understanding that life is not going to take you back. You are the world you have created. And when you cease to exist, this world that you have created will also cease to exist. But for those with the understanding that they're living the last days of the world, death acquires a different meaning. The extinction of all reality is a concept no resignation can encompass. And then, all the grand designs and all the grand plans will be finally exposed and revealed for what they are. And now, Counselor, I have to go, because I have to make other calls. If I have time, I think I'll take a small nap.

A lesson in sport.....

Don't get bitter, get better
After we lost a match of soccer those words came running in my mind
we lost not only because of lack of communication , skill , talent
we lost because the opposition was simply better than us
they were faster , more accurate
they created chances and made them count
they played as a unit in a game of  5 aside , every single player is responsible for each and every single role
from being a striker to , defence , middle fied etc
when you separate the roles
you create a space for blame
a space where everyone can look back and say that is not my fault
that is not part of my responsibilities

As I stood in the middle of the ground and looked at how effortless they beat us
they were just gliding in the field
they communicated , they also did something we failed to do they committed
we lost that match as individuals and they won as a team
when in leadership sometimes you miss some few things and when people who are under you remind you of those things don't demote them, listen
just because you're the leader doesn't mean your ideas are always the best
its a team sport and you must be able to take criticism as a captain and swallow your pride and just listen to your team mates

Money makes the world go round in a square world

So a bit of background
when I still stayed at home
creditors used to come by asking for their cash
and my naughty uncle would always make me lie and say he's not around
I used to hate doing it
I remember this one time someone called and he told me to say he wasn't in the house
I laughed so hard coz i'm sitting right next to him, I mean like really hehehe
Long story short from those experiences I hated creditors with a passion
So years later I started working and for a good part of my life I was credit free
Didn't have a debit or an account under my name
This one time I wanted to buy a phone on contract though I could afford it
They couldn't give it to me cos I didn't have a credit history
"A credit history "they said
So there I was on the phone with a consultant who can't give me what I can afford because I don't have " credit history "
This makes no sense at all
So I opened some accounts and they gave me plenty credit
So much that I started getting into debt that I could no longer afford
There I was with so much credit on my name that I didn't even know what to do with it
Every time I had to pay up these accounts felt like a piece of me was dying with every payment I made
Then I decided to pay them all up
Best decision ever but guess what ????
Now that I have payed up all my accounts and no longer have credit on my name
My credit history is in danger , apparently you need to stay active so u can get more credit at a later stage in your life
So if I want to buy a house or something bigger I need this credit
I feel like i'm a joke
The system is a joke , it's designed to keep me in debt inasmuch as I want to get out of it
So here I am buying socks every month end just to keep my account active
So I can have a good credit history
This is messed up I tell you

Motivation to keep going

When you know within yourself that there's something you need to do and I believe everyone of us are born with a purpose
That all of us have something we all suppose to do
And that all of us have some goodness in us
And that goodness gives us the responsibility
to manifest our greatness
Not only is it possible for you to have your dream
It is necessary
It's necessary that you have it
That you work on it
That you develop yourself
That you go for what is yours in the universe
Everyday when you wake up
You better be spending time on your dreams

You don't have time to waste
It is a sense of agency
It's a character of who you are
It's not the tittle that makes you , its not the success that makes you
The character defines the success defines the fame
and it starts right there
The 1 in thousand of hours in the training room
In the labs and the 5am runs
When it's raining and when everyone is sleeping
That's when it's WON!!
The heart of a champion is a light switch
Thats always on , it doesnt go and off when someone is watching its constant
It's how you look at something if your name is attached to it
and you do it right , the best of your ability
Every single time

That if you want something bad enough go out and fight for it
To work day and night for it
To give up your time your peace and your sleep for it
If all that you dream and scheme is about it
And life seems useless and worthless without it
And if you would gladly sweat for it and fight for it
And lose all your terror of the opposition and fight for it
And if you simply go after this thing that you want
With all your Capacity , Strength and Sagacity
Faith Hope and Confidence
and Stern for Tenacity
If neither cold , poverty, sickness or body and brain can keep you away from it
From the thing that you want

And now that's that thing called life
Is that it is always changing
Sometimes you're up sometimes you're down
I can tell you that now be aware of that
Things are not gonna work out exactly right
For a time they will
Sometimes , and that is when life is just playing a game with you
I don't wanna play anymore
I don't care how good you are
I don't care how talented you are
I don't care how much you work on yourself
There are times when things aren't gonna go right
They are just not gonna go right
There are times when anything that can happen will happen
But during those down moments
That's where the growth takes place
That is where the work is
You see anybody can feel good when they have their health
Their bills are paid , they have happy relationships
Anybody could be positive then
Anybody can have a larger vision then
Anybody can have faith under those circumstances
You see but the real challenge
The real challenge of growth
Mentally , Emotionally , Spiritually comes when you get knocked down