If you read anything I have written and actually have a thought, then my job is done.
Tuesday, 17 June 2014
Done with being a nice guy.
Do you know that "NICE" guy
Thats me right there , you know when you're in high school and want to be part of the cool pretty ladies
I mean if you get seen hanging with them then you're sorted
Well that teenage me back then used to work for me , made friends very easily
get me in a room with complete strangers and I had them laughing like we have known each other for a very long time
that guy was cool
I think I took him and never let go because he worked for me but now I feel like his holding me back
I don't wanna be the funny guy girls like anymore
I wanna be in all honesty that other guy who doesn't care much and isn't really the good guy
the nice guy used to work but I feel his time has come to an end
he isn't useful anymore, sure he still gets me friends and is a very interesting guy but his too nice
This is note really me changing who I am
it's just that guy was useful back then and now instead of being useful he is being used
Some girls figured out i'm nice so im that guy they call when they need a favour
and all along I didn't realise I gave them something that most guys get something out of it
I gave them my Attention!!
I mean if they already have my Attention there's no point in them even giving any up
so it's we come hang out with the nice guy, then later we go home to our not so nice guys
This is B'S!!
"All that shit that used to be cool ain’t cool anymore
All the women we were pursuing, now they want more
And they deserve it all, don’t settle for what ain't yours" Andre3000
So I got thinking and I decided that a woman should earn my niceness
I shouldn't just give it away
And from there we establish if we are friends or something more then I know how much to give and when to let you know your taking it too far and go knock somewhere else
A friend of mine once told me : Man use love to get sex and Woman use sex to get love.
Monday, 9 June 2014
7 Steps to reaching your goal
I have this thing where I start and never finish
Seem like I have so many projects going on at the same time that i never even complete either of them
Always waiting in line to try the next big thing , listen to the latest , upgrade to the latest
First it was just my academic life and soon it moved to my job , health , relationships etc
always trying my hands on all the shinny new things that I see , never completing the old stuff
seems I like new , I need to start finishing what I start. which brings me to the point of goals.
Goal : An observable and measurable end result having one or more objectives to be achieved within a more or less fixed timeframe.A goal is a desired result a person or a system envisions, plans and commits to achieve a personal or organizational desired end-point in some sort of assumed development. Many people endeavor to reach goals within a finite time by setting deadlines.
Seven Steps to Reaching Your Goals
Successfully executing any personal strategic plan for change requires that as you develop your plan, you effectively incorporate these seven steps for attaining each and every goal:
1. Express your goal in terms of specific events or behaviors.
For a dream to become a goal, it has to be specifically defined in terms of operations, meaning what will be done. When a goal is broken down into steps, it can be managed and pursued much more directly. "Being happy," for example, is neither an event nor a behavior. When you set out to identify a goal, define what you want in clear and specific terms.
2. Express your goal in terms that can be measured.
How else will you be able to determine your level of progress, or even know when you have successfully arrived where you wanted to be? For instance, how much money do you aspire to make?
3. Assign a timeline to your goal.
Once you have determined precisely what it is you want, you must decide on a timeframe for having it. The deadline you've created fosters a sense of urgency or purpose, which in turn will serve as an important motivator, and prevent inertia or procrastination.
4. Choose a goal you can control.
Unlike dreams, which allow you to fantasize about events over which you have no control, goals have to do with aspects of your existence that you control and can therefore manipulate. In identifying your goal, strive for what you can create, not for what you can't.
5. Plan and program a strategy that will get you to your goal.
Pursuing a goal seriously requires that you realistically assess the obstacles and resources involved, and that you create a strategy for navigating that reality. Willpower is unreliable, fickle fuel because it is based on your emotions. Your environment, your schedule and your accountability must be programmed in such a way that all three support you — long after an emotional high is gone. Life is full of temptations and opportunities to fail. Those temptations and opportunities compete with your more constructive and task-oriented behavior. Without programming, you will find it much harder to stay the course.
6. Define your goal in terms of steps.
Major life changes don't just happen; they happen one step at a time. Steady progress, through well-chosen, realistic, interval steps, produces results in the end. Know what those steps are before you set out.
7. Create accountability for your progress toward your goal.
Without accountability, people are apt to con themselves. If you know precisely what you want, when you want it — and there are real consequences for not doing the assigned work — you are much more likely to continue in your pursuit of your goal. Find someone in your circle of family or friends to whom you can be accountable. Make periodic reports on your progress.
source : http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/45
Monday, 26 May 2014
I will survive .
At first I was afraid I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights
Thinking how you did me wrong
And I grew strong
And I learned how to get along
And now you're back
from outer space
I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed that stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second you'd be back to bother me
Go on now, go walk out the door
Just turn around now
'Cause you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
Do you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Oh no, not I. I will survive
Oh as long as I know how to love
I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give and I'll survive
I will survive,
I will survive! Hey, Hey!
Oh as long as I know how to love
I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give and I'll survive
I will survive,
I will survive! Hey, Hey!
It took all strength I had not to fall apart
Kept trying' hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart
And I spent oh so many nights
Just feeling sorry for myself, I used to cry
But now I hold my head up high
And you see me, somebody new
I'm not that chained up little girl who's still in love with you
And so you felt like dropping in
And just expect me to be free
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for someone who's loving me
Go on now, go walk out the door
Just turn around now
'Cause you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to crush me with goodbye
Do you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Kept trying' hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart
And I spent oh so many nights
Just feeling sorry for myself, I used to cry
But now I hold my head up high
And you see me, somebody new
I'm not that chained up little girl who's still in love with you
And so you felt like dropping in
And just expect me to be free
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for someone who's loving me
Go on now, go walk out the door
Just turn around now
'Cause you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to crush me with goodbye
Do you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Oh no, not I. I will survive
Oh as long as I know how to love
I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give and I'll survive
I will survive, Oh
Oh as long as I know how to love
I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give and I'll survive
I will survive, Oh
Go on now, go walk out the door
Just turn around now
'Cause you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to crush me with goodbye
Do you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Oh no, not I. I will survive
Oh as long as I know how to love
I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give and I'll survive
I will survive,
I will survive!
Just turn around now
'Cause you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to crush me with goodbye
Do you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Oh no, not I. I will survive
Oh as long as I know how to love
I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give and I'll survive
I will survive,
I will survive!
It took all the strength I had not to fall apart
Kept trying' hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart
And I spent oh so many nights
Just feeling sorry for myself, I used to cry
But now I hold my head up high
And you see me, somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person who's still in love with you
And so you felt like dropping in
And just expect me to be free
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for someone who's loving me
Go on now, go walk out the door
Just turn around now
'Cause you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to crush me with goodbye
Do you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Kept trying' hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart
And I spent oh so many nights
Just feeling sorry for myself, I used to cry
But now I hold my head up high
And you see me, somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person who's still in love with you
And so you felt like dropping in
And just expect me to be free
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for someone who's loving me
Go on now, go walk out the door
Just turn around now
'Cause you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to crush me with goodbye
Do you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Oh no, not I. I will survive
Oh as long as I know how to love
I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give and I will survive
I I I WILL survive
Oh as long as I know how to love
I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give and I will survive
I I I WILL survive
(fading ending:)
Go on now, go walk out the door
Just turn around now
'Cause you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to crush me with goodbye
Do you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Just turn around now
'Cause you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to crush me with goodbye
Do you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Friday, 16 May 2014
What is stress : (
Stress is a normal physical response to experiences that make you feel somewhat threatened or upset your balance in a way. When you sense danger—whether it’s real or imagined—the body's defenses kick into high gear in a rapid, automatic process known as the “fight-or-flight-or-freeze” reaction, or the stress response.
The stress response is the body’s way of protecting you. When working properly, it helps you stay focused, energetic, and alert. In emergency situations, stress can save your life—giving you extra strength to defend yourself, for example, or spurring you to slam on the brakes to avoid an accident.The stress response also helps you rise to meet challenges. Stress is what keeps you on your toes during a presentation at work, sharpens your concentration when you’re attempting the game-winning free throw, or drives you to study for an exam when you'd rather be watching TV.
But beyond a certain point, stress stops being helpful and starts causing major damage to your health, your mood, your productivity, your relationships, and your quality of life.
How does one go about responding to it.
It's important to learn how to recognize when your stress levels are out of control. The most dangerous thing about stress is how easily it can creep up on you. You get used to it. It starts to feel familiar, even normal. You don't notice how much it's affecting you, even as it takes a heavy toll.
The signs and symptoms of stress overload can be almost anything. Stress affects the mind, body, and behavior in many ways, and everyone experiences stress differently. Not only can overwhelming stress lead to serious mental and physical health problems, it can also take a toll on your relationships at home, work, and school.
For the drivers out there here is a driving analogy by Psychologist Connie Lillas describing how people respond when overwhelmed by stress
belows are the 3 most common
- Foot on the gas – An angry, agitated, or “fight” stress response. You’re heated, keyed up, overly emotional, and unable to sit still.
- Foot on the brake – A withdrawn, depressed, or “flight” stress response. You shut down, pull away, space out, and show very little energy or emotion.
- Foot on both – A tense or “freeze” stress response. You become frozen under pressure and can’t do anything. You look paralyzed, but under the surface you’re extremely agitated.
Now here is a story to sum up it all up. Take some time reading the story below and absorb it .
"Boss, our dog, sat looking up the tree; ears cocked, and tail tensely wagging. He
was attending to a monkey. Just one thing filled his consciousness: the monkey. No
thought disturbed his total concentration, no worry for tomorrow. Boss was the
nearest thing to Contemplation I have ever seen.
You may have experienced some of this yourself when you were totally absorbed
watching a dog at play.
Here is a formula for Contemplation, as good as any 1 know: Be totally in the present.
Drop every thought of the future, drop every thought of the past, drop every image and
abstraction, and come into the present. Contemplation will arise!
After years of training, the disciple begged his Master to bring him to Enlightenment.
The Master led him to a bamboo grove and said, “See that bamboo, how tall it is ?
See that other one there, how short it is?”
And the disciple was enlightened. "
Tuesday, 6 May 2014
A testament on life.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles roll
ed into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’
The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed..
‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—-your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—-and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else—-the small stuff.
‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn.
Take care of the golf balls first—-the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled and said, ‘I’m glad you asked.’ The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.
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