Mig33 My First Love.

Many of us have lost the magic in social media
Remember the days of Mig33 lol those were the days
FYI: That is where the name xinkwa came from, Mig33 was the first chat app that I knew about back in the days. And I had just got the then smartphone the Motorola V360 damn I miss that phone
And I loved the bluetooth function because of 1 particular thing "porn" hahahaha i'm serious I didn't even use Bluetooth for anything else.
There phones were not USB compatible with a PC so you couldn't load pictures and music like today but that wasn't for long because things changed drastically when BlackBerry came to our lives
Anyways back to social media . Back to Mig33.
I never felt so alive more than when I was on Mig33, I talked to people all over South Africa and actually made a real connection.
Remember just how much we used to send each other photos, selfies have been around for a very long time.  I used to have folders of pictures of girls, don't ask me why it was just cool at that time I guess.
My point here is that we used to actually communicate with each other, with people from all walks of life and as long as you had airtime you never really felt lonely as a teenager, there was always people to talk to and they responded and were not too full of themselves. Ok even though Mxit came along I never really was active on it. Mig33 was my jam.
Social media is different these days, people don't really connect anymore. It's all about likes, shares and comments people don't really talk to each other, it's like being alone in a room full of people.

We have lost the magic in Social media. We have become our own worse enemies. We have isolated ourselves so much. We have built so many circles and are involved in so many groups that before we interact with people we first put on a face for that particular group of people. We have lost our authenticity and uniqueness, everyone either agrees with the most popular opinion or they have nothing to say. People are scared to have their own voice. We are more intrigued by trends than what we like personally.

Pride and Acceptance

One of the lessons I have learned in my life especially as a man is: Asking for help when you need some.
Most of us are told while growing up that we should not cry, as it is a sign of weakness.
Man don't cry they soldier on.
Even when it hurts they keep marching on
Even when it is painful they keep going
That's what man do.

I remember the day I became a man. I have great relationship with my father and I always looked up to him financially speaking. That is I lived off him, hey don't judge most you still do. Let me get to my point so this one time as I always do, I asked him for some money [ given that he just gave me cash a week back nor less] so my expectations as usual are that his going to drop everything he is doing and go send his baby boy some cash. This is how the conversation went. So I called and asked for cash, he responded with a question, he asked vukosi are you a man? I mean I just turned 20 something so I felt like I was a man, little did I know why he was asking me that question and I replied "yes I am a man". He said " ok, well a man makes a plan " and that was the last time we had a conversation about money. Looking back at event i'm very thankful he did that. I am very thankful that he saw me as a man and treated me like one.

I find it difficult to call my parents, family or friends to ask for help. I have come to rely on myself so much that I for a while didn't seem to value friendships and people around me because I was to dependent on myself for everything and I expected nothing from anyone else.
I stopped calling some people and didn't return some missed calls
I just didn't really find value in keeping in touch basically

I think I kinda missed the lesson my dad was teaching me
As time passed I started "tried" to be more involved in what my family and friends get up to and start being friendly if you can call it that.
Having your financial freedom should not get into your head that you begin to think that you don't need people around you
When you pocket becomes bigger so does your head
You just start being a little selfish and it feels as if you don't really care

I would rather grab a beer with some friends any day than to spend the whole night in a club with bottles and no one to share them with. The girls we meet don't really count, when you don't have money for drinks they don't even see you. The only person i'm in competition with is the man in the mirror the only person I try to be better than is the man in the mirror. We need to start taking care of each other, say hi to a few people, I promise it won't hurt. Get out of your comfort zone and breath the same air as other people.

Sorry seems to be the hardest word .

One of the hardest things to say is i'm sorry
Admitting you are wrong goes far beyond words and concepts
The words I am sorry can prevent alot of pain and the absence of such a word can create so much pain
We have given it a lot of authority
We have given it too much power
But sometimes when you have messed up a good thing or did something that you knew at the back of your mind was wrong and you still did it anyways
That's us human beings we can be very selfish sometimes
In saying sorry you heal not only yourself but the person you have wronged
I want to say i'm sorry for the decision I made but don't get me wrong, how do I put this without sounding like a complete dog
Im sorry for the decision I made got you feeling the way you feel about me and us
i'm sorry I hurt you
i'm sorry I gave up on you but it was a decision I made for myself
and I am prepared to leave with that decision , I just want you to be free from it
wasn't so hard was it , sorry
I'm not sorry I made the decision , I 'm sorry about the consequences my decision has had in our lives
I thought I was doing the best I could
So Vukosi Tshuketana I forgive you for all the chances you didn't take
For all the times you got there too late
For all the times you couldn't swallow your pride and ask for help
For all the bad and all the decisions you made
For all the good ones you let pass you by
For all the times you went next door because you thought the grass was greener
And for all the little and big things you should have done and never got around to doing them
I forgive you .

In the end....

Save your tears and applause
Save your compliments and criticism
Save your hello and goodbye
Save you hot and cold

It seems as if for all actions there are appropriate reactions
For all the ups there and downs
Seems like good can't exist without evil
For all the positives there are negatives

Words , its amazing how they affect us
If I told you how beautiful and smart your look , you just up like a yoyo with excitement
And if I told you how unattractive and stupid you look , you get angry and reserved
Human beings are like toys , you can put them up or put them down just by saying a few things and they react

Most of us just exist for deaths sake
We just are
We do not lack nor do we want anything more out of life
We are just contemp with just being
Following the trends and traditions that have been put alongside us
Doing things the way they have always been done
Most of us don't want to reinvent the wheel
We don't wanna be the creators, we just want to consume what is there and when it is finished we cry for more
What is this more that we want , we don't really know

First few years of our lives we do everything we possibly can do to avoid hunger and loneliness
We raise children
We seat back and wait for death to come our way
We reminisce on old times and memories shared
All the love ones that came our way and left
All the events and dates that we can never forget

In the end the only thing we all have in common regardless of our culture , religion , age , gender , nationality, qualifications , the only true thing we all truly have in common is death itself

"At the understanding that life is not going to take you back. You are the world you have created. And when you cease to exist, this world that you have created will also cease to exist. But for those with the understanding that they're living the last days of the world, death acquires a different meaning. The extinction of all reality is a concept no resignation can encompass. And then, all the grand designs and all the grand plans will be finally exposed and revealed for what they are."

Almost done ......

In that space between doing the norm and doing what you want
I'm tired of following "normal" let me try this being unique thing and see for myself as to what it can do for me
You know when you have those random moments when your mind is busy wondering around and when you wanna write down those thoughts its as if they just disappear
Whenever I start writing that's when I become blank
You know how we always say next year i'm gonna do this , i'm gonna do that
I'm not having any of those this year , no no mam
I'm gonna do me , I should probably write down some goals
My biggest goal was to reach a quarter of a century without becoming a dad
I know its an odd goal to have right , well that's what I always wanted years later now my biggest fear is having kids late in life
You know that place you think you will know when you get there at a certain time
When you start making the kind of money you wanna make and what not
I believe that place is a myth
unless if you have written down goals and a plan on reaching that particular destination everything else is visage
Most of us don't know what we want until we lose it and the lucky few get to have it back and get to keep it whilst the rest of us only realize at a later stage just what we had and its too late the fat lady has not only sang but she packed up and is performing somewhere else
I have always been content with the little i have
I never really thought bigger and faster or more , if I had enough then it was good enough for me
I came to a point in fact I came to a realization that it's more than just me in this wonderful and dangerously pretentious world we leave in
That the decisions I make not only affect me but a lot of other people as well and i'm ok with that
I have come to the point not of selfishness but a point where I love me more , in all honest the only true person in you life who wants and loves you and will never leave your side nor can you run out of favor with is the man in the mirror . If you take good care of him he will do the same for you
in the words of a great infamous president : " It's not that we don't love you , no we love ourselves more than we love you "