Fifty Shades Of Sunnyside

It was a Saturday morning just after 8 am, I just came back from a party
on my way to get breakfast, I looked like shit I mean considering the fact that I just woken up and got dropped of by my place
I knew I was hungry but I wasn't sure if I had enough to get something to eat, as I searched I found a few notes which were enough for coffee and a burger with chips
Had my meal and back to the flat I went.
She was walking down and I walking up the street, she was looking fly and oh my she got me hooked line and sink right there and then. So I went over we had a little chat
and spoke about visiting each other, she said she would see me later that day.
So there we were at my flat after some wine, snacks, music playing the whole setup was romantic to say the least.

I won't lie she had some serious booty, she was packing and I couldn't believe it was all mine for even just for that one night
I got excited and as we undressed I thought to myself what if I cum to quickly and just how tight is her pussy, I slipped my fingers inside her panties to feel the wetness on
my hand as I reached deeper with my fingers she moaned like a good little girl. I couldn't put both my fingers inside, had to settle for the one finger that is when I realized
just how tight she was down there.

At this point I'm panting and so ready for her seeing as she's already wet but my mind is also curious as to how tight she may be, wondering if I might hurt her,
I really didn't want anything to go wrong.

I decided to put myself out of the misery and just go for it, slowly I took off the last piece of clothing she had on, I must say even her underwear was just as sexy...
As I lifted her legs up and went on top of her, she moaned in that sexy kinda way that makes a man feel like his doing everything right, I slowly went inside her,
trying so hard to be gentle, but as I pushed myself inside her she moaned again and this time I realized that it was a little different, sounded like she was in pain...
I decided to kiss her and pushed inside yet again this time around she moaned a little louder and I was sure that it was the kind that indicated that she was indeed in pain...
I asked her if she wanted to continue and she said she was in pain and just wanted me to hold her...Even as hard as I was I knew I couldn't have her that night,
so I obliged and  gave the lady what she has asked for, we slept with me holding her tight in my arms with a hard on of course but there was something about having her I my
arms that felt so special..

Mig33 My First Love.

Many of us have lost the magic in social media
Remember the days of Mig33 lol those were the days
FYI: That is where the name xinkwa came from, Mig33 was the first chat app that I knew about back in the days. And I had just got the then smartphone the Motorola V360 damn I miss that phone
And I loved the bluetooth function because of 1 particular thing "porn" hahahaha i'm serious I didn't even use Bluetooth for anything else.
There phones were not USB compatible with a PC so you couldn't load pictures and music like today but that wasn't for long because things changed drastically when BlackBerry came to our lives
Anyways back to social media . Back to Mig33.
I never felt so alive more than when I was on Mig33, I talked to people all over South Africa and actually made a real connection.
Remember just how much we used to send each other photos, selfies have been around for a very long time.  I used to have folders of pictures of girls, don't ask me why it was just cool at that time I guess.
My point here is that we used to actually communicate with each other, with people from all walks of life and as long as you had airtime you never really felt lonely as a teenager, there was always people to talk to and they responded and were not too full of themselves. Ok even though Mxit came along I never really was active on it. Mig33 was my jam.
Social media is different these days, people don't really connect anymore. It's all about likes, shares and comments people don't really talk to each other, it's like being alone in a room full of people.

We have lost the magic in Social media. We have become our own worse enemies. We have isolated ourselves so much. We have built so many circles and are involved in so many groups that before we interact with people we first put on a face for that particular group of people. We have lost our authenticity and uniqueness, everyone either agrees with the most popular opinion or they have nothing to say. People are scared to have their own voice. We are more intrigued by trends than what we like personally.

Pride and Acceptance

One of the lessons I have learned in my life especially as a man is: Asking for help when you need some.
Most of us are told while growing up that we should not cry, as it is a sign of weakness.
Man don't cry they soldier on.
Even when it hurts they keep marching on
Even when it is painful they keep going
That's what man do.

I remember the day I became a man. I have great relationship with my father and I always looked up to him financially speaking. That is I lived off him, hey don't judge most you still do. Let me get to my point so this one time as I always do, I asked him for some money [ given that he just gave me cash a week back nor less] so my expectations as usual are that his going to drop everything he is doing and go send his baby boy some cash. This is how the conversation went. So I called and asked for cash, he responded with a question, he asked vukosi are you a man? I mean I just turned 20 something so I felt like I was a man, little did I know why he was asking me that question and I replied "yes I am a man". He said " ok, well a man makes a plan " and that was the last time we had a conversation about money. Looking back at event i'm very thankful he did that. I am very thankful that he saw me as a man and treated me like one.

I find it difficult to call my parents, family or friends to ask for help. I have come to rely on myself so much that I for a while didn't seem to value friendships and people around me because I was to dependent on myself for everything and I expected nothing from anyone else.
I stopped calling some people and didn't return some missed calls
I just didn't really find value in keeping in touch basically

I think I kinda missed the lesson my dad was teaching me
As time passed I started "tried" to be more involved in what my family and friends get up to and start being friendly if you can call it that.
Having your financial freedom should not get into your head that you begin to think that you don't need people around you
When you pocket becomes bigger so does your head
You just start being a little selfish and it feels as if you don't really care

I would rather grab a beer with some friends any day than to spend the whole night in a club with bottles and no one to share them with. The girls we meet don't really count, when you don't have money for drinks they don't even see you. The only person i'm in competition with is the man in the mirror the only person I try to be better than is the man in the mirror. We need to start taking care of each other, say hi to a few people, I promise it won't hurt. Get out of your comfort zone and breath the same air as other people.