Alexithymia

In all forms of conversation asking someone , how they are doing is such a mundane thing that we do everyday but hardly ever think about it
The normal response would be: I'm fine thanks and how are you ?
I will then say the same by letting them know i'm doing ok!
Then it stands to good reason that we will move on to another subject .
We are so used to it that every now and then we find ourselves greeting people and expecting the same stimulus response
And this time they happen to tell you how they really feel
How stressed, lonely, heartbroken, how much the past few days had drained them, how their relationships are failing, how they struggle to make ends meet and so on
And in such cases you don't have the necessary social skills to accommodate how real and painful the situation just got
I mean what do you say in such cases
How do you respond
They didn't teach us about these type of conversations
So we find ourselves asking people around us about how we should respond
When you tell me the truth about how you really are, you mess up the rules of normal conversation and interaction

We need to find that place inside of us where we can accommodate each other and stop pretending everything is ok when we cry ourselves to sleep every night but we have so many friends and chat buddies( in our lingo followers ) .So I urge you next time someone ask you how you are for once just be real and tell them how you really feel and see them open up to you. We are all broken in one form or another, we can heal each other and find comfort in each others arms.

Conversations with death.....

Jefe: I would urge you to see the truth of the situation you're in, Counselor. That is my advice. It is not for me to tell you what you should have done or not done. The world in which you seek to undo the mistakes that you made is different from the world where the mistakes were made. You are now at the crossing. And you want to choose, but there is no choosing there. There's only accepting. The choosing was done a long time ago... Are you there Counselor?

Counselor: [distraught] Yes.

Jefe: I don't mean to offend you, but reflective men often find themselves at a place removed from the realities of life. In any case, we should all prepare a place where we can accommodate all the tragedies that sooner or later will come to our lives. But this is an economy few people care to practice.

Counselor: Will you help me?

Jefe: Machado would have traded every word, every poem, every verse he ever wrote for one more hour with his beloved. And that is because when it comes to grief, the normal rules of exchange do not apply, because grief transcends value. A man would give entire nations to lift grief off his heart. And yet, you cannot buy anything with grief, because grief is worthless.

Counselor: Why are you telling me this?

Jefe: Because you continue to deny the reality of the world you're in. Do you love your wife so much, so completely, that you would exchange places with her upon the wheel? And I don't mean dying, because dying is easy.

Counselor: Yes! Yes, damn you!

Jefe: Well, that is good to hear, Counselor.

Counselor: What are you saying? Are you saying this is a possibility?

Jefe: No. It's impossible.

Counselor: You said I was that man - at that crossing.

Jefe: Yes. At the understanding that life is not going to take you back. You are the world you have created. And when you cease to exist, this world that you have created will also cease to exist. But for those with the understanding that they're living the last days of the world, death acquires a different meaning. The extinction of all reality is a concept no resignation can encompass. And then, all the grand designs and all the grand plans will be finally exposed and revealed for what they are. And now, Counselor, I have to go, because I have to make other calls. If I have time, I think I'll take a small nap.

A lesson in sport.....

Don't get bitter, get better
After we lost a match of soccer those words came running in my mind
we lost not only because of lack of communication , skill , talent
we lost because the opposition was simply better than us
they were faster , more accurate
they created chances and made them count
they played as a unit in a game of  5 aside , every single player is responsible for each and every single role
from being a striker to , defence , middle fied etc
when you separate the roles
you create a space for blame
a space where everyone can look back and say that is not my fault
that is not part of my responsibilities

As I stood in the middle of the ground and looked at how effortless they beat us
they were just gliding in the field
they communicated , they also did something we failed to do they committed
we lost that match as individuals and they won as a team
when in leadership sometimes you miss some few things and when people who are under you remind you of those things don't demote them, listen
just because you're the leader doesn't mean your ideas are always the best
its a team sport and you must be able to take criticism as a captain and swallow your pride and just listen to your team mates